I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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