Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

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  (330): We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens. (330): Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible. http://tfl.nu/ibu5
  Replies (22) Good night (674) Bad night (5074)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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  (208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db
  Replies (11) Good night (6173) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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  (343): STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS. http://tfl.nu/4nyg
  Replies (1) Good night (3624) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
  Replies (11) Good night (1260) Bad night (6098)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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  (517): Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons. http://tfl.nu/2wud
  Replies (4) Good night (1505) Bad night (881)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away

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  (303): theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away http://tfl.nu/plhs
  Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (2116)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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  (810): She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room. http://tfl.nu/nven
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (1342)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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  (774): I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/4yf1
  Replies (17) Good night (1526) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.

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  (910): I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with. http://tfl.nu/a0xq
  Replies (15) Good night (1162) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah

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  (864): Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah http://tfl.nu/n16g
  Replies (2) Good night (744) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

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  (702): He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking. http://tfl.nu/611y
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  $1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place

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  (602): $1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place http://tfl.nu/ekdp
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?

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  (815): I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/uotd
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

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  (941): He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating? http://tfl.nu/3gve
  Replies (7) Good night (227) Bad night (831)

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