i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
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They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
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And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.