Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2274) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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  (914): We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream. (1-914): Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award http://tfl.nu/nl5u
  Replies (7) Good night (4251) Bad night (340)
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  (716): View more from New York

  u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.

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  (716): u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you. http://tfl.nu/wk7e
  Replies (51) Good night (736) Bad night (4815) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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  (321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv
  Replies (19) Good night (1119) Bad night (4102) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1202) Bad night (3787) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's only a little bit crosseyed.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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  (610): He's only a little bit crosseyed. (484): I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much. http://tfl.nu/gez3
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (2675)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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  (901): we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever http://tfl.nu/yt63
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (5422) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.

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  (678): He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/j7uh
  Replies (2) Good night (2461) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  will barter weed for kareoke machine...

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  (516): will barter weed for kareoke machine... http://tfl.nu/46ic
  Replies (2) Good night (1224) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time

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  (515): Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time http://tfl.nu/sgzo
  Replies (10) Good night (1610) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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  (541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc
  Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

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  (432): I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line. http://tfl.nu/q8nl
  Replies (20) Good night (4340) Bad night (730)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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  (815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?

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  (202): Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear? http://tfl.nu/m1et
  Replies (6) Good night (442) Bad night (1746) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (282)

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