Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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  (571): you're bored at work aren't you? (703): I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk http://tfl.nu/77tj
  Replies (78) Good night (4176) Bad night (1225)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls

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  (203): Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls http://tfl.nu/wu3r
  Replies (62) Good night (3534) Bad night (1182)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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  (832): So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party. http://tfl.nu/a5ld
  Replies (33) Good night (11762) Bad night (3211)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

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  (250): He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock... http://tfl.nu/tura
  Replies (15) Good night (5866) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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  (780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q
  Replies (14) Good night (2766) Bad night (1090)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

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  (513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq
  Replies (19) Good night (2447) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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  (801): P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play. http://tfl.nu/s3w0
  Replies (10) Good night (2347) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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  (210): I want to own their dicks and all the attachments http://tfl.nu/6rti
  Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.

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  (315): After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/s812
  Replies (6) Good night (1152) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

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  (+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007
  Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You were drinking Everclear weren't you?

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  (828): While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee (1-828): You were drinking Everclear weren't you? http://tfl.nu/a4qg
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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  (306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.

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  (480): He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart. http://tfl.nu/1a7j
  Replies (6) Good night (1165) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????

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  (330): Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this???? http://tfl.nu/uhtc
  Replies (9) Good night (426) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.

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  (307): I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing. http://tfl.nu/4xdm
  Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (164)

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