I hate your face
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society