Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.

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  (801): Yes, it's true. 4 fingers. http://tfl.nu/fqre
  Replies (31) Good night (3588) Bad night (1189)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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  (469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!! http://tfl.nu/b8q7
  Replies (46) Good night (1377) Bad night (26309)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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  (201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (2984)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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  (586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w
  Replies (22) Good night (8064) Bad night (903)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated

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  (585): you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated http://tfl.nu/r9p5
  Replies (11) Good night (5998) Bad night (1089)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

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  (516): Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar http://tfl.nu/xg4s
  Replies (6) Good night (3019) Bad night (875)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  That dog was the best thing i ever touched

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  (636): That dog was the best thing i ever touched http://tfl.nu/rr6d
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (700)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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  (708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (712)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (27) Good night (2300) Bad night (2372)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

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  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (985) Bad night (444)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (407)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.

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  (405): That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing. http://tfl.nu/0pwv
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (328)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...

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  (318): I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex... http://tfl.nu/uxr0
  Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (304)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter

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  (814): I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter http://tfl.nu/aqnw
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (252)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!

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  (417): I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS! http://tfl.nu/a1ne
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (165)

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