She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
