I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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