There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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