No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
