frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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