if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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