dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
