Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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