We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm at about main and main street
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
