I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You don't make any sense
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