He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
