can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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