New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize