The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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