He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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