Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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