You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize