he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
