is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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