I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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