As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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