Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
