i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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