and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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