Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
