You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Im part way to drunk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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