Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
