Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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