He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
