Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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