why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
