I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
