I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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