I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
