someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
