the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
