I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
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He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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