Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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