been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have post one night stand depression
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