i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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