i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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