Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
