when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize