tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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