In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
