I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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