just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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