Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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