i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
