Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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