Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
