Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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