Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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