Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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