I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pooping to opera.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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