Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel

(703): View more from Virginia

Yeah...right...LMAO

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(703): belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads (202): i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel (703): Yeah...right...LMAO http://tfl.nu/ndo8

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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(856): i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty" http://tfl.nu/8yrq

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(914): View more from New York

i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

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(914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf

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(313): View more from Michigan

while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.

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(313): while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up. http://tfl.nu/p2q9

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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(603): hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1... http://tfl.nu/ehgf

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(773): View more from Illinois

It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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(773): It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse. http://tfl.nu/a75v

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(727): View more from Florida

when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.

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(727): when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test. http://tfl.nu/l54a

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(540): View more from Virginia

i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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(540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9

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(317): View more from Indiana

What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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(317): What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am? http://tfl.nu/0wpx

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."

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(208): It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate." (1-208): My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time." http://tfl.nu/9ozo

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(209): View more from California

I will pee on everything he values.

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(209): I will pee on everything he values. http://tfl.nu/vmpd

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(907): View more from Alaska

You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog

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(907): You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog http://tfl.nu/ud9g

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(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

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(309): View more from Illinois

He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

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(309): He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned? http://tfl.nu/05n3

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.

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(901): I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy. http://tfl.nu/38oe

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