i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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