Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
