Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
