We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
